The Effort, not the Result

After working at my current bridge job for about a year now, I came to realize that I hadn’t really opened up to my co-workers very much. One person in particular, I just didn’t know what to talk about with.

Though it was simply asking a co-worker to go out to a movie, the rejection felt every bit as intense as something much more serious.

Misery loves company. I had a bunch of friends back in junior high school. People actually asked me to spend time with them—outside of school. It wasn’t very healthy, though—apart from one or two friends who I spent time together with in yearbook committee.

I share everywhere online, always trying to find new venues for my personas to feel at home and amongst friends, so how much am I opening myself up to IRL friendships and other connections? Does sharing “too much” online leave little in the bank for in-person connections? Or does it allow me to iron out the kinks of my story—to be presented much more neatly and edited to real people?

park bench

Still, I tried. I put myself out there—ready for rejection—all I can do now is to keep at it. Oh, and not give myself too hard a time. This is me turning a “loss” in to a learning experience.

What can I do differently? Maybe, give people more notice when I ask them to hang out. Maybe make it a small group thing. I’m not sure what else.

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